by: Marilyn Bohn
A few years ago on a Monday night I was giving my 10 year old daughter instructions on cleaning her room. I was pointing out the clothes and nick nacks that needed to be put away, where to put them and how to organize the room. I was going a mile a minute just picturing the progress she would make with my expert advice when she said to me "MOM, ISN'T THERE A TUESDAY?"
That brought me up short. I didn't know what she meant until I stopped to think what she was saying. When we get an idea that we are going to organize and everything will be perfect right now, —remember the saying: "Rome wasn't built in a day"—we don't need to get everything de-cluttered and organized in one day.
It is an important step in organizing anything, a room, a closet, a desk, an office, shelves, attic, or garage, or other places we realize it is important that first comes chaos during the organizing process. When looking at the project it may feel overwhelming but realizing physically things will purposefully be undone and many times emotionally we will be undone and there will be chaos, but when focusing on the goal we can be sure it will all be organized and something better will have been accomplished. It shows something new is being created in your life. Remember the Phoenix was burnt to ashes? Out of the ashes it was reborn.
When doing many ordinary tasks first comes chaos. For Example: Take clothes shopping for instance. By searching through racks and stacks of clothes, discarding many and trying on others; we eventually find what we want and then purchase them. Once home it is necessary to sort through the bags and separate the clothes in piles according to the person they were intended for. These will then be taken to their rooms to be put away. The shopping experience went from chaos to organization.
For people who sew or quilt first comes organized chaos. There is the process of selecting the fabric among a plethora of bolts of fabric, finding the right pattern, gathering the necessary supplies, cutting the fabric into pieces, then sewing it all back together to make a beautiful quilt. This beautiful work of art started in creative chaos.
When students are studying for a test it first starts with chaos. There are books to read, notes to refer back to, study groups to attend and organizing of thoughts. Then comes the test and it all comes together.
By taking things one step at a time we will accomplish what we want to accomplished and be organized with the least amount of stress. Remembering that first comes chaos both physically and emotionally but out of this will rise calm, peace and a sense of accomplishment.
When tackling a room, a box, the kitchen cupboards, or the closet that will hardly close just remember there IS a Tuesday and by starting with one thing at a time, realizing out of chaos comes beauty organizing will be a rewarding and less stressful.
About The Author
Marilyn Bohn's Bio
Marilyn is a creative organizer who has been organizing for over 20 years. She is a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers and is working towards becoming a Certified Professional Organizer. Professionally she has been organizing homes and offices for over two years. She holds a bachelors degree in Social Work. She has reared five daughters and currently lives in Utah.
Go to her website http://www.marilynbohn.com where you can find free organizing tips, interesting blogs and more helpful articles on organizing.
Babywearing - One Mom's Experience With Being Hands Free and Heart Full
by: Heather Ledeboer
When I became a mom, something magical happened. An inner strength and desire to protect, love and nurture rose up within me. Desires, dreams and fears awakened in my heart that once lay dormant. I felt fit for the task and excited for the adventure of motherhood that stretched out ahead me. When my relatives went home and my husband returned to work I believe I handled the change exceptionally well. That is until our fridge containing a few leftovers and several bottles of breast milk finally forced us to venture out of the house to the grocery store. Until this point, I really felt that I was pulling off my new mommy role quite well. However, I had no idea that my little 5 pound 10 oz hunk of love could require so much extra effort for something as simple as a run to the store. Between loading and unloading the car seat, diaper bag, stroller, and to-do list I felt as though I may as well have been charting territory in a foreign land. After I returned home from that first adventure, I boldly decided that running errands alone with my baby was just too much work. The thought of pulling my Cadillac stroller and heavy car seat in and out of my car for another excursion was simply more than I could bear. Later that week, a lady at church breezed past my son and I, holding her new baby in a sling. Both she and her baby looked happy, content and close. In that moment, I knew I had to have one. I had just discovered my ticket to freedom.
Love At First Sight
I loved my first baby carrier so much that I started buying and trying other types of carriers to see how they compared. Each one seemed to offer something slightly unique and different that I loved. I was amazed at how many types, styles and variations were available. It was like a secret world opening up for me. I started learning that babywearing offered many benefits to the child including crying less, learning more, and increased IQ! I found out that babies that are “worn” also have been shown to exhibit reduced colic and spit-up with increased cardiac output and improved circulation. Not to mention the benefits for me! I could nurse with the carrier, shop without a bulky stroller and I was hands free and able to get things done around the house!
Taking it to the next level
As my collection of baby carriers grew, so did my knowledge of how to use them and the pros and cons of each style. If my son was just fussy and needing to be close on and off throughout the day or if I was making a quick run into the store I loved my pouch style slings such as the New Native Baby Carrier or The Peanut Shell. The simple tube design was quick to slip on over my arm and head to my shoulder. The way it hung on my body looked much like sash. I loved how easy it was to wear it like this throughout the day. It did not feel bulky or in the way and whenever I wanted to wear my son, I could slip him into the pouch in a matter of seconds--it was so easy to use. For days when I really needed to get work done around the house or for longer shopping trips, I often reached for my wrap style carriers. Wrap carriers, such as a Moby wrap or Moby D, are a specially designed strip of fabric. The long, (often stretchy) fabric is cleverly wrapped around your torso, over your shoulders, around your torso again and then secured at your waist with a knot or a d-ring. I found the wrap carriers to have a slight initial learning curve.
However, the clearly marked instructions quickly eased my mind and after my first few attempts I was a believer. Because their straps go over both shoulders and securely wrapped around me and my baby, he felt very close. I felt very comfortable, secure and ready to move. For long durations of wear, the wrap carriers became my staple. Finally, if I was visiting friends or family that wanted to share in the fun of baby wearing, I brought along my adjustable slings such as a Maya Wrap or Rockin Baby Sling. These adjustable carriers were very similar to the pouch style in the way that they hung from one shoulder to the opposite hip like a sash. However, they had an extra tail of fabric looped though a d-ring positioned by your shoulder. Although I did not enjoy the extra bulk created by this fabric tail when I was using the sling alone, it certainly allowed for an easy, adjustable, customized fit for all body types when I was sharing it with others. These adjustable carriers (as well as the wrap carriers) are also an economical choice for parents to share with each other rather than buying two separate sizes since they are a one size fits all option.
They each have a place in my heart
All of the carriers could be used from birth to 35 pounds and each offered a variety of carrying positions. So when I need a carrier, my question was not necessarily which carrier to use, but rather what need to fill. Each carrier was my favorite in its own special way. I feel that other moms can benefit from my experience when looking for their own ideal baby carrier. After all, just as no two mamas are alike, neither are their preferences for baby carriers. I compiled a sling comparison chart comparing a wide variety of baby carriers side by side under factors such as “reduces back strain”, “easy on, easy off”, and “discreet nursing”. Thankfully, with the myriad of choices available, and the right kind of helpful information, any mom is bound to find the baby carrier that is perfect for times when the arms give out but her heart just won't let go. Equipped with the right carrier, she can join me and venture out of her home to chart new territory in a foreign land with her hands free to record her findings for future generations.
About The Author
Heather Ledeboer is the owner of Mom 4 Life, http://mom4life.com , a website that offers bella bands, moby baby wraps, maya baby wraps and other practical gifts for mothers and babies.
source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/parenting/article_1693.shtml
When I became a mom, something magical happened. An inner strength and desire to protect, love and nurture rose up within me. Desires, dreams and fears awakened in my heart that once lay dormant. I felt fit for the task and excited for the adventure of motherhood that stretched out ahead me. When my relatives went home and my husband returned to work I believe I handled the change exceptionally well. That is until our fridge containing a few leftovers and several bottles of breast milk finally forced us to venture out of the house to the grocery store. Until this point, I really felt that I was pulling off my new mommy role quite well. However, I had no idea that my little 5 pound 10 oz hunk of love could require so much extra effort for something as simple as a run to the store. Between loading and unloading the car seat, diaper bag, stroller, and to-do list I felt as though I may as well have been charting territory in a foreign land. After I returned home from that first adventure, I boldly decided that running errands alone with my baby was just too much work. The thought of pulling my Cadillac stroller and heavy car seat in and out of my car for another excursion was simply more than I could bear. Later that week, a lady at church breezed past my son and I, holding her new baby in a sling. Both she and her baby looked happy, content and close. In that moment, I knew I had to have one. I had just discovered my ticket to freedom.
Love At First Sight
I loved my first baby carrier so much that I started buying and trying other types of carriers to see how they compared. Each one seemed to offer something slightly unique and different that I loved. I was amazed at how many types, styles and variations were available. It was like a secret world opening up for me. I started learning that babywearing offered many benefits to the child including crying less, learning more, and increased IQ! I found out that babies that are “worn” also have been shown to exhibit reduced colic and spit-up with increased cardiac output and improved circulation. Not to mention the benefits for me! I could nurse with the carrier, shop without a bulky stroller and I was hands free and able to get things done around the house!
Taking it to the next level
As my collection of baby carriers grew, so did my knowledge of how to use them and the pros and cons of each style. If my son was just fussy and needing to be close on and off throughout the day or if I was making a quick run into the store I loved my pouch style slings such as the New Native Baby Carrier or The Peanut Shell. The simple tube design was quick to slip on over my arm and head to my shoulder. The way it hung on my body looked much like sash. I loved how easy it was to wear it like this throughout the day. It did not feel bulky or in the way and whenever I wanted to wear my son, I could slip him into the pouch in a matter of seconds--it was so easy to use. For days when I really needed to get work done around the house or for longer shopping trips, I often reached for my wrap style carriers. Wrap carriers, such as a Moby wrap or Moby D, are a specially designed strip of fabric. The long, (often stretchy) fabric is cleverly wrapped around your torso, over your shoulders, around your torso again and then secured at your waist with a knot or a d-ring. I found the wrap carriers to have a slight initial learning curve.
However, the clearly marked instructions quickly eased my mind and after my first few attempts I was a believer. Because their straps go over both shoulders and securely wrapped around me and my baby, he felt very close. I felt very comfortable, secure and ready to move. For long durations of wear, the wrap carriers became my staple. Finally, if I was visiting friends or family that wanted to share in the fun of baby wearing, I brought along my adjustable slings such as a Maya Wrap or Rockin Baby Sling. These adjustable carriers were very similar to the pouch style in the way that they hung from one shoulder to the opposite hip like a sash. However, they had an extra tail of fabric looped though a d-ring positioned by your shoulder. Although I did not enjoy the extra bulk created by this fabric tail when I was using the sling alone, it certainly allowed for an easy, adjustable, customized fit for all body types when I was sharing it with others. These adjustable carriers (as well as the wrap carriers) are also an economical choice for parents to share with each other rather than buying two separate sizes since they are a one size fits all option.
They each have a place in my heart
All of the carriers could be used from birth to 35 pounds and each offered a variety of carrying positions. So when I need a carrier, my question was not necessarily which carrier to use, but rather what need to fill. Each carrier was my favorite in its own special way. I feel that other moms can benefit from my experience when looking for their own ideal baby carrier. After all, just as no two mamas are alike, neither are their preferences for baby carriers. I compiled a sling comparison chart comparing a wide variety of baby carriers side by side under factors such as “reduces back strain”, “easy on, easy off”, and “discreet nursing”. Thankfully, with the myriad of choices available, and the right kind of helpful information, any mom is bound to find the baby carrier that is perfect for times when the arms give out but her heart just won't let go. Equipped with the right carrier, she can join me and venture out of her home to chart new territory in a foreign land with her hands free to record her findings for future generations.
About The Author
Heather Ledeboer is the owner of Mom 4 Life, http://mom4life.com , a website that offers bella bands, moby baby wraps, maya baby wraps and other practical gifts for mothers and babies.
source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/parenting/article_1693.shtml
Difficult People: Harassing Neighbors
by: Dr. Mark Lauderdale
“My neighbors are harassing me. How do you deal with difficult people like these?”
I’ve been asked this question SEVERAL times now, so I thought I’d write an article on the topic.
The word “harassment” is a very broad term. For different people it can mean anything from neighbors who are verbally abusive and deflating your tires to people who are just plain nosey.
It’s a little like saying, “My dog is misbehaving”. You wouldn’t start right away by working on your dog’s “misbehavior” in general. You’d want to focus on the SPECIFIC forms of misbehavior that are causing a problem, such as jumping up on people, or barking too much, etc…
So, the first thing to do is to identify the specific type of harassing behavior that is causing the problem.
For the sake of discussion let’s say that your neighbors are frequently rude or disrespectful to you and your family. They use a "hit and run” form of verbal abuse.
The next thing to do is… talk to them? (I can already hear you saying, “I tried that and it didn’t work!”) Let me clear about this… NO!
The next thing to do has NOTHING to do with talking to them.
In fact, jumping into action too quickly is often where people go wrong right off the bat. It’s almost guaranteed that you will DO or SAY the wrong things, which just make things WORSE.
No, the next thing to do is IMAGINE… more specifically, to visualize the way you’d like things to be with your neighbor instead of the way things are. In other words, set your goal and visualize it.
You might want to turn them into friends or you might want to have infrequent but respectful interactions. That’s ok. Just be very clear about your goal – as long as it’s constructive.
So, let’s say that you don’t want to move away from the neighborhood and that what you REALLY want is for your neighbors to talk in a respectful way to you and your family.
Now, since THIS is what you really want, you should make a conscious decision that everything you say or do from now on will move things toward this outcome… and furthermore, that everything THEY say or do ALSO becomes an opportunity for you to take things closer to that outcome.
After you’ve imagined what a positive outcome might look like, you should then eliminate your anger, frustration and stress about the situation and feel calm, strong and confident about creating a positive change.
You can’t produce a positive outcome if you’re sitting on negative, angry or hostile feelings.
To shift your emotional state into strength and confidence, you can use the Wellspring Method at http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/creating-change.htm which I created to help you successfully deal with difficult people and situations like this.
Armed with a feeling of confidence and determination to produce a positive outcome with the difficult person, start imagining what would happen if you were to meet with your neighbor… play out ANY scenarios that come into your mind.
There is not just ONE RIGHT WAY. You know your situation far better than I do and how your particular neighbor is likely to respond.
You might start off by paying them a visit and saying, “I noticed that you seemed unhappy about something when we last spoke, so I thought I’d come over and find out what it is that’s bugging you…”
It’s quite possible that they may not believe you and you may just get another rude response. But, you can persist… “Clearly something was bothering you and I’d really like to know what it is so that we can address the problem.”
You want to persist and be genuinely concerned and curious, so that your neighbor actually starts to feel that you are interested in what their issue is. Persist until you REALLY understand why they are feeling the way they are… even if their concern is based on misinformation or an immature way of seeing things.
Once you understand what their concern is (no matter how rudely they expressed it), you can then start to think of a solution that could address that concern. Of course, if you are addressing their genuine concern, then they will also become more receptive to a friendlier relationship without the disrespectful language.
If there is really no underlying issue that is bothering them, or at least none that they will divulge to you, and they persist with rude language, you can take the approach of paying them a visit each and every time a rude episode occurs… each time approaching them with the same calm and genuine curiosity about what it is that is bugging them.
The more rude they are, the more concerned and curious you can be. Of course, you would need to be able to do this calmly and confidently because pushing your buttons and getting you to react is what they are TRYING to do!
If you continue with repeated discussions over an extended period of time, never retaliating or getting drawn into an argument and always pursuing the issues in great detail, the act of being disrespectful towards you will start to become a bit of a nuisance to your neighbor who will think twice about being rude next time.
He’ll know that hurling another negative comment your way is just going to result in yet another long drawn out discussion in which the things that are bugging him will be put under the microscope for examination.
There are only two outcomes… Either your neighbor will eventually reveal what is really bugging him or her, which you can then address through some kind of win-win solution, or, they will change their tune and avoid being rude in order to avoid another discussion with you.
Learn more about dealing with difficult people and problem situations at: http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/
About The Author
Mark Lauderdale MD FRCPC is a psychiatrist and author of “Secrets of Dealing with Difficult People” http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/ which provides expert ideas, insights and tools for dealing with all types of difficult people confidently and effectively.
Source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/family/article_2741.shtml
“My neighbors are harassing me. How do you deal with difficult people like these?”
I’ve been asked this question SEVERAL times now, so I thought I’d write an article on the topic.
The word “harassment” is a very broad term. For different people it can mean anything from neighbors who are verbally abusive and deflating your tires to people who are just plain nosey.
It’s a little like saying, “My dog is misbehaving”. You wouldn’t start right away by working on your dog’s “misbehavior” in general. You’d want to focus on the SPECIFIC forms of misbehavior that are causing a problem, such as jumping up on people, or barking too much, etc…
So, the first thing to do is to identify the specific type of harassing behavior that is causing the problem.
For the sake of discussion let’s say that your neighbors are frequently rude or disrespectful to you and your family. They use a "hit and run” form of verbal abuse.
The next thing to do is… talk to them? (I can already hear you saying, “I tried that and it didn’t work!”) Let me clear about this… NO!
The next thing to do has NOTHING to do with talking to them.
In fact, jumping into action too quickly is often where people go wrong right off the bat. It’s almost guaranteed that you will DO or SAY the wrong things, which just make things WORSE.
No, the next thing to do is IMAGINE… more specifically, to visualize the way you’d like things to be with your neighbor instead of the way things are. In other words, set your goal and visualize it.
You might want to turn them into friends or you might want to have infrequent but respectful interactions. That’s ok. Just be very clear about your goal – as long as it’s constructive.
So, let’s say that you don’t want to move away from the neighborhood and that what you REALLY want is for your neighbors to talk in a respectful way to you and your family.
Now, since THIS is what you really want, you should make a conscious decision that everything you say or do from now on will move things toward this outcome… and furthermore, that everything THEY say or do ALSO becomes an opportunity for you to take things closer to that outcome.
After you’ve imagined what a positive outcome might look like, you should then eliminate your anger, frustration and stress about the situation and feel calm, strong and confident about creating a positive change.
You can’t produce a positive outcome if you’re sitting on negative, angry or hostile feelings.
To shift your emotional state into strength and confidence, you can use the Wellspring Method at http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/creating-change.htm which I created to help you successfully deal with difficult people and situations like this.
Armed with a feeling of confidence and determination to produce a positive outcome with the difficult person, start imagining what would happen if you were to meet with your neighbor… play out ANY scenarios that come into your mind.
There is not just ONE RIGHT WAY. You know your situation far better than I do and how your particular neighbor is likely to respond.
You might start off by paying them a visit and saying, “I noticed that you seemed unhappy about something when we last spoke, so I thought I’d come over and find out what it is that’s bugging you…”
It’s quite possible that they may not believe you and you may just get another rude response. But, you can persist… “Clearly something was bothering you and I’d really like to know what it is so that we can address the problem.”
You want to persist and be genuinely concerned and curious, so that your neighbor actually starts to feel that you are interested in what their issue is. Persist until you REALLY understand why they are feeling the way they are… even if their concern is based on misinformation or an immature way of seeing things.
Once you understand what their concern is (no matter how rudely they expressed it), you can then start to think of a solution that could address that concern. Of course, if you are addressing their genuine concern, then they will also become more receptive to a friendlier relationship without the disrespectful language.
If there is really no underlying issue that is bothering them, or at least none that they will divulge to you, and they persist with rude language, you can take the approach of paying them a visit each and every time a rude episode occurs… each time approaching them with the same calm and genuine curiosity about what it is that is bugging them.
The more rude they are, the more concerned and curious you can be. Of course, you would need to be able to do this calmly and confidently because pushing your buttons and getting you to react is what they are TRYING to do!
If you continue with repeated discussions over an extended period of time, never retaliating or getting drawn into an argument and always pursuing the issues in great detail, the act of being disrespectful towards you will start to become a bit of a nuisance to your neighbor who will think twice about being rude next time.
He’ll know that hurling another negative comment your way is just going to result in yet another long drawn out discussion in which the things that are bugging him will be put under the microscope for examination.
There are only two outcomes… Either your neighbor will eventually reveal what is really bugging him or her, which you can then address through some kind of win-win solution, or, they will change their tune and avoid being rude in order to avoid another discussion with you.
Learn more about dealing with difficult people and problem situations at: http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/
About The Author
Mark Lauderdale MD FRCPC is a psychiatrist and author of “Secrets of Dealing with Difficult People” http://www.shrinkinabox.com/difficult-people/ which provides expert ideas, insights and tools for dealing with all types of difficult people confidently and effectively.
Source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/family/article_2741.shtml
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