How to Keep Your Marriage Strong While Running a Small Business
| If you are in business for yourself chances are good that you enjoy what you do, at least we hope that you do because after all, you got yourself into it. If you are married, chances are good that you love your spouse; at least we hope that you do, again—you got yourself into it. So what happens when you try to mix two loves—your business and your marriage—can they survive?
I believe the answer to be a resounding, yet qualified, YES. However, to effectively get to the "yes" there are going to be two "knows" you will have to be willing to hear first:
Know your spouse. People are about as varied as the businesses that cater to them. What type of person are you married to? Do they enjoy business as much as you do? Do they enjoy talking with you about your business? Do they support you and get excited to hear about your goals and visions in the area of business? If the answer is yes, this road will likely be much smoother because they will be willing to walk down it with you and perhaps even help pave the way for you. I am blessed to have a husband that not only enjoys the subject of business but has had a few of them himself and is happy to discuss the topic with me at great lengths. Not everyone is like this, if my husband didn’t enjoy discussing business, I would have to be willing to find another source of support for this area and focus on the areas that he is equipped to help me with without expecting him to give more than he is able.
Know yourself. Are you able to be sensitive to the needs of your spouse and perspective to their feelings even when you are wrapped up in your work? Will you notice if they are starting to feel neglected and unappreciated? Do you notice when they put in extra effort to help you meet a deadline? This past weekend my husband helped me from 9:00-12:00AM organizing my inventory. This was a selfless act of love on his part. I am blessed that we both love to organize but my passion and drive to do this was my business, whereas his drive was his desire to show me love. Looking back, I can see that although I told him thank you and was really thankful for his help, I likely didn’t express this nearly as clearly as I should have. The night we were working was very cold as was the shop we were working in. It was wonderful to have him out there with me rather than to be working alone. It made my job not only faster but much more enjoyable. He could have been choosing to do any one of a number of things but choosing to help me meant a lot. Later I made a point to tell him how much it meant to me.
Ok on to our "Yes’s":
Say Yes to Communication. Be willing to discuss your business and how you both feel about it and do this regularly. Be honest and upfront and encourage your spouse to do the same. Don’t assume that just because they were excited about your business when you started that their enthusiasm will not waiver down the road. The beauty of a good marriage is they way you can give and take support when needed and hopefully you are able to be strong for each other at the times needed most in your business. Say Yes to Time Together. If you have kids you likely know how helpful it can be to enjoy a date night with your spouse alone. You both need time away from your business as well. Decide together what activities you can enjoy together that doesn’t involve your business. Plan how often you would like to enjoy these activities together and make a point to do it. Say Yes to Saying "No". Part of being a successful business owner is knowing when to delegate. This can often be one of the hardest steps to take early on as we all know that no one can run your business as good as you can. The same can also be true of your marriage however as no one can be as good of a spouse to your mate as you can. You can always find another employee if the first one doesn’t work out. The same cannot be said of your spouse so be smart enough to recognize when you begin to need help from others to run your business successfully and do it!
I believe that business owners have the chance to dip into the best of both worlds: business and pleasure; they simply need to do so knowing how those steps affect those they love. Keep an open mind and tuned ear toward your most important "business partner" and you will both find the success to be sweeter than imagined because it is shared. |
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